Muttley & Guests - The 15 Minutes Of Fame Mix Series - Archives

Easy all Smile

Back in the July of 2006 I decided to begin a mix series dedicated to underexposed artists, and their assorted enterprises. Still entitled as such, "15 Minutes Of Fame" has gone on to accumulate over 1 million downloads since its inception. Through the link underneath this text you will find folders to all of the featured sets plus much more related to my music exposure projects:

And below that is an updated blog on the series, complete with the guidelines for onlookers and DJs alike to adhere to:


1. Up to 40 minutes in length

2. No more than 10 tracks

3. Unsigned and signed tracks can feature

4. All genres can be covered where applicable

5. All tracks mixed in key where possible

6. The aim of each mix should be to promote the artists featured, not the skills of the DJ.

7. Any means of mixing are acceptable, live or programmed, but state what you used.

8. Each set-list will include as much information about the tracks and artists as possible in order to act as a highly informative resource for the listener. External links - for example myspace pages, other selected tracks, music reviews and more can be implemented as you see fit, providing they will be deemed as relevant for the audience to use.



1. Gaps between mixes may vary for several reasons. There is no set time for each new set to pop up.

2. I'm not a mixing robot. And because I realise this, I can attest that, as a contributor you don't have to be. There will be no egos. Just good music, first and foremost.

3. Nonetheless, this doesn't mean the contributors will want to be shielded from constructive criticism. I certainly don't, rest assured. If you can spare a few words here and there, then please do. Because as far as I see, feedback is the only way a mini-movement of selectors can move forward and better themselves proactively.


Finally, if you're reading this text and wondering how you as an artist can possibly see your music featured, or if you'd like to contribute a set, here's the lowdown...


Submitting tracks and mixes

To do this you can:

1. Send me a private message through whatever forum this text is posted on.

2. Contact me via email at:

3. Post in threads such as the one you may be reading right now.

Your mix will receive a permanent home on the server, be supported on whatever forums SubVersion visits, and be archived with a wealth of source material for present and future enjoyment.


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'15 Minutes OF Fame' was partly inspired by the Subvert Central Podcasts, a series which holds parallels in terms of welcoming diversity in the selections presented. Seeing as this concept is now well and truly off the ground it appeared the ideal time for me to align it with another of similar mindset, and enable the spreading of this small internet project further than originally intended. Special thanks go to Ben Subvert for accepting my request for conjoining the projects under one recognisable banner. I envisage good things will come from this partnership.

Thanks to everyone for their continued support on the forums about this series. It's truly appreciated and makes it all seem worth investing time in. Smile

Bests, and many thanks for reading

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt. 1 - Consolation Music - January 2010

01. Marcus Fjellstrom - Consolation Music (from the album Gebrauchsmusik)
02. Auburn Lull - The Old Mission (from the album Alone I Admire)
03. Roger Eno - Transparent Deviation (from the album The Long Walk)
04. Shaula - O (from the album Haze)
05. Olafur Arnalds - 3326 (from the album Dyad 1909)
06. Roger Eno - Someone You Once Loved (from the album The Long Walk)
07. Robin Guthrie & Harold Budd - How Close Your Soul (from the album Before The Day Breaks)
08. Library Tapes - Fields (from the album Sketches)
09. Richard Skelton - Pariah (from the album Landings)
10. Stars Of The Lid - That Finger On Your Temple Is The Barrel Of My Raygun (from the album And Their Refinement Of The Decline)


The primer that inspired me to revamp the minimix series was dedicated to my father, whereas "Lost In Thought", my second Subvert Central Podcast, to my mother. One key family member remained, and now "Consolation Music" is finished, the circumference aspect - a set for summing up a juncture from my sister - is finally complete.

"Consolation Music" compacts 10 emotion-filled tracks into 16 minutes. Not only does this tell onlookers that 15 Minutes Of Fame welcomes sets up to 40 minutes, it also consolidates the underlying theme of why I create mixtapes in whatever circumstances. My faith to move on is a consolation; my willingness to create its ointment.

Originally I began ambient showcases as collages, where synchronicity was wayward to reflect my overall mood. "Consolation Music" doesn't synchronize tunes as my sister's standpoint on drones is not certain - she can't listen to a lot of homogenised material, but paradoxically doesn't like hearing a bunch of noises all crammed and obtusely melded.

With this in mind, it was a fine and experimentally-minded line to walk in constructing this, yet "Consolation Music" is far from my most technically accomplished set. The keystone was layering, so you'll hear piano overlapping on string, drone blending against guitar, but not in obvious trajectories. This mental favouring transpired from wishing to soundtrack my sister tilting the group standpoint on matters from 2008 to 2010, in measures small and large.

She is a very caring individual, and has helped me see sense in current climes with relationships I discuss with her, the breakdown I had which caused group suffering and frustration, and my patterns of existing as a functional human being, from hermit to outgoing party-goer. I can ride both lifestyles, but wouldn't be so stable without her counsel. A birthday present for her this is; another exercise in cathartic practice for the rest of us.

Any feedback much appreciated. Smile

Nuendo Wrote:Listened to it and thought it was good.

It is quite moody but certainly interesting. Will definitely listen to it again.

Also will be checking out your other mixes. Xyxthumbs

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.2 - Notice To Orchestras - July 2006

01. Fanu - Two Drummers (free download -
02. Anonymi - Aurora (Digibeat Music)
03. Diffraction - Sunrise 2006 (Diffraction Records, Unsigned)
04. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Moya (Kranky / Iris)
05. Godspeed You! Black Emperor- Blaise Bailey Finnegan 111 (Kranky / Iris)

Time: 40:20
128kbps mp3
Mixed with 2 CDJs and an Ecler Nuo3 mixer.

The time here is at the upper limit of my guidelines to present the latter two tracks in greater detail. To compensate without nullifying enjoyment I have cut 3 minutes off the end of the last piece and encoded at 128 instead of 192kbps.


Track Info - 2010 update


"Two Drummers" was signed to the label Synaptic Plastic for a fair old while but didn't appear to be coming out anytime soon. Fanu consequently made a free giveaway. You can download "Two Drummers" at the blog:

Thanks again to Fanu for supplying the 320. Here are his MySpace pages if you want to check out more of his tunes:


An excellent debut release for this non-profit digital label. Soulful tunes with a lot of originality, Anonymi's efforts here could be described as experimental (dissimilar to modern IDM) juxtaposed with dancefloor sensibilities (regular 4/4 time signature). Big up Mr. J Digital for the initiative in putting them out. "Aurora", along with Digibeat Music releases 002-005 can be found in the first ZIP from this section of my sub-server:

Digibeat Music 001-X


I got sent this track little over a few days ago in July 2006 and it surprised me with its profound originality and choice of instrumentation. Overdubbing of violins onto a solid drum track with lots of quirks, big up Diffraction for sending me the link to their site so that I could download "Sunrise" and feature it in this mix!


I received these tracks from a CD trade and ever since had been searching to buy the original disc instead of listening to my recordings of these tunes. Now finally, thanks to spiff they have been identified. Both tracks come from the "Slow Riot For New Zero Kanada EP" which you can purchase on CD and vinyl here:

The EP and other albums from the group are also available digitally here:

Also check another stylistically related group called Mono:

I've heard very little so far in my musical experiences which reaches such intense emotional heights. Here's a review I found on which gives a great insight into what the piece exemplifies musically:

Marc Gilman, All Music Guide

A low hum is the first thing heard. It's nearly an inaudible sound, like the opening of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. Soon other instruments join and overlap: strings, guitar, and glockenspiel. For a while, the listener hovers in a mist feeling the musical waves ebb and flow, warning of impending danger. In these moments, uncertainty breeds and devours the weak, swallowing them whole. This is probably Mile End, the location alluded to in the liner notes of the Canadian ensemble Godspeed You Black Emperor!'s Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada. Mile End is described in detail, and the influence of this locale on the recording of the Slow Riot must have been immense. In fact, the best way to describe this album is as a direct result of Mile End's setting: the abandoned buildings, haunting forest, burned out railroad cars, and empty train tracks. All of these physical images pervade the tone of this album: they are its sadness, beauty, and anger. The darkness is there too. Once immersed in Mile End, it's near impossible to find your way out. The darkness limits your freedom, and at the same time hides you from the rest of the world. You are alone and it is both frightening and liberating. As for the music, there's really not much to say. If this description of Mile End appeals to you or intrigues you then it will be a worthwhile listen. "Moya," the album's first piece, is a lot like weathering a torrential downpour: torn between moments of uncertainty a final deluge occurs absorbing everything in its path. The second piece, "BBF3," is a history lesson set to music, a story of dysfunctional government, militias, and human rights. This one album spans the emotions of terror and delight in 30 minutes. The same feelings of fear and triumph found in Beethoven can be found here, and there is perhaps no better endorsement for such music.

Via seguing the tracks together in Cubase I have just about managed to bypass the gap between the two files so that the silence is barely noticable. I've tried to let the tracks breathe enough but also mix them up a bit to keep interest.

Sample comment:

Maccazzz Wrote:quite honestly one of the best mixes ive downloaded from DOA in ages. Muttley your mixing is tight sir! Slayer Slayer Slayer

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.3 - Shades Of Everlasting - July 2006

1. Uz- Has - Soulkast (Subvert Central)
2. Soul Delay - Ustad (Subtle Audio)
3. Seba & Lenk feat. Robert Manos - 16 Stories (Metalheadz)
4. Alpha Omega - Shades Of The Past (Unsigned CD-R / Plainaudio)
5. Kryptic Minds & Leon Switch - Prejudice & Politics (Metalheadz)
6. Polarity & Jericho - Marder (Shadybrain)

Time: 26:19
Size: 30.1 Meg
Bitrate: 160kbps Mp3
Mixed with 2 CDJs and an Ecler Nuo3 mixer.

Track Info - 2010 update


"Soulkast" is taken from the "Subvert Central Volume 2 EP" on the Subvert Central label. It is one of the 8 high quality tracks to be included on the EP that stylistically treads across influences such as dub, techno, oldskool jungle, noise, jazz and ambient.

You can hear and purchase the first EP right here:

This is one P&D label that has delivered the goods in all issued releases, and therefore I hope more people grab themselves a copy of at least one of them. There are less than 100 copies of volume one remaining, so if you want it you have the chance to do so for a cheap price. Also check the label website / discussion forum:


SC Digital for free high quality Mp3 releases:


I got sent this track recently in 2006 and fell in love with the minimal aesthetic present within it. The drums are definitely what make this tune, and I liken the style presented here to early Arcon 2 - or for more up to date comparison "Losing Track" by Breakage on his Bassbin LP.

It's been a testament to the timeless quality "Ustad" has for Code of Subtle Audio to have taken interest in the track after just a few months. Since I pointed him in the direction of this mix series "Ustad" became one of his favourites featured, and it was issued one year later on the Subtle002EP. is the address where you can find more audio for his tracks. He conducted a giveaway on forums in 2008 for an unsigned batch:


"16 Stories" at the time of release was a fairly underexposed Seba and Lenk piece. This was no doubt due to its inclusion on a 12 track album (MDZ04) as opposed to an individual 12' single.

I still rate this collaboration as one of the best from Seba in the past few years due to the beautifully simple bassline, and smooth vocals that serenade the drumbeat. Great use of the assembly line break in this one too.

You can still purchase the cd this came on at stores such as, and buy Mp3's through this juno records link.


"Shades Of The Past" really grew on me since I received the Unsigned CD from Alpha Omega. You can purchase the disc and "Unsigned Vol.2 CD" through the following threads:



Respected netlabel Plainaudio put out "Shades Of The Past" on their "Bad Karma" EP:

Alpha Omega's MySpace page with more audio:


"Prejudice And Politics" came out on the same LP as track 3 in this mix, hence the info relatively crosses over as to where you can purchase it.

Find more tracks like this at


I had to include this stormer of a track to close proceedings. You can purchase the "Marder" in full (the mix was was faded out 2 minutes before it finished) for 99p at

Also be sure to check these whilst you're there:

N.Phect - Neon City
N.Phect & Dizplay - Botfunk
Misanthrop - Strange Planet
N.Phect - Punchline
Rido - Anatomy
Catacomb - Won't stop

Sample comment:

Soul Delay Wrote:That's true, he definitely puts a lot of care in.

Like in part 3 the mix from my tune to the Seba & Lenk tune is amazing. Not only is it nicely in key, but both tunes use the same break, both tunes have it switching in and out, and they're blended so that the assembly line rides do a little Call-and-Response thing between the two tracks.

I was amazed!

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.4 - Departure - August 2006

1. Sileni - Zaiko Therapy (Make:Shift)
2. Evol Intent, Mayhem & Psidream - Assimilation (Evol Intent)
3. Spor - Alpha Trion (Barcode)
4. Gremlinz & Stranjah - The Nasty (Architecture)
5. Sileni - Another track (Subvert Central forthcoming)
6. Rido - Anatomy (Shadybrain)
7. Phace - Brainwave (Subtitles)
8. Weird Attractors - Arrival (Anonymi remix) (unsigned)


128kbps Mp3
Time: 33:04
31 Mb
Mixed: Live, 2 CDJs, 1 Ecler Nuo3 mixer.

This set is primarily designed to showcase the unsigned Anonymi tracks that Mr J Digital alerted me to shortly after commencing this series.

The title marks a change in the way I attempted to create a set in comparison to my last - it was very much a case of getting some tracks, trying a few mixes and then laying down one long sequence, and thematically the content focuses slightly more on the sounds I would play in a club environment as opposed to a heavily chilled selection.

Having said that the tempo isn't typically fast by today's standards - the rough guidelines were to keep between 166 to 170bpm, with many tracks downpitched to quite a degree. To me a lot of the music featured sounds so much better at slower speeds than it was produced at, and therefore I hope by displaying the aforementioned as such may convince a few listeners that faster isn't necessarily better when it comes to dancefloor Drum & Bass. I find the groove is tarnished above 170bpm in many instances.

To go along with the club ideology the overall feel of this mix I find more rough and ready - it's not without its mistakes but the energy in comparison to the last set is much greater and that's what matters to me most. To give another subtle difference from the previous sets this mix also highlights another angle of my musical tastes - seeing as I very much hate the idea of pigeonholing someone without cross-pollenation I have in this set tried to move into more contemporary waters - that means techno influenced d&b has played a major part in filling up my time limit on this occasion.

It was indeed an enlightening experience for me to dig out a few tracks I'd forgotten about from 2004 / 2005 and appreciate them again in this set. As always I sincerely hope that you the listener will find some more music they like from my selection this time.

Track Info


"Zaiko Therapy" was released on the Make:Shift double CD which can be purchased here:

It is just one of many excellent works from what I feel is one of the most underexposed CD compilations to pass through d&b this year. Please show your support if your'e feeling this tune enough by purchasing the CD, or at least check out the rest of the track clips in said thread - the unmixed disc is hugely varied in the styles it offers.

Released: 2006


"Assimilation" was one collaboration track that saw Evol Intent raise their profile with before going on to blow up with their remix of "Corrupt Cops" in 2005. It is also the only track by them I still pull out regularly so it made sense to include it here. You can still buy it on vinyl backed with Ben Sage feat. Savvy - Sleepless Vip from most online record stores or your local equivalent.

You may also be interested in checking Mayhem & Psidream's MySpace pages:

Released: 2004


"Alpha Trion" came out exclusively on the CD version of the '"Us Against The World" long player from 2005, and it's by far my choice of the whole album, that of which I find very inconsistent overall.

If you like this track I would recommend you try
Outbroken (That Track) , Brickbeats or Haywire by him. These tracks were released from 2004 to 2005 on the Renegade Hardware / Barcode imprints.

You may also want to check out the artist Catacomb if you like this particular tune. Their MySpace:

I would also recommend you purchase "Won't Stop" at

Released: 2005


"The Nasty" came out on the "Last Of A Dying Breed" EP on the Architecture label. Besides the epic "Satisfy" it is the only track I really rate and thought it should be included in a future set. Here is audio for all tracks in the release:

Released: 2005


"Another Track" comes from the non-profit Subvert Central label, in the second vinyl volume consisting of 8 tracks. You'll have already heard "Soulkast" if you've been downloading my sets so far and more are to come from that release in the future as well as volume one.

Here's a very nice review courtesy of Noisemonkey:


Sileni - Another Track

You've got to love the way Sileni constructs his drum hits from the oddest acidic synth sounds imaginable. It's quite reminiscent of early acid house in the way it blips and bobbles with swift washes of pads to polish the surface of this multilayered beast. Each plink and plonk rounds on the stepping break bleeping and echoing around the soundscape. Zithers and tight rolls of blipping sounds bounce around as washes of synth roll the sunset over the more ravey elements, giving the track a more colourful approach. This is a track that will be in orbit around your head for some time to come.


To me Sileni is still criminally underexposed. He has had releases so far on Thago - here is

Code from Subtle Audio also made this thread where you can hear more of his works.



"Anatomy" was released in a batch of four new releases this summer time from the Shadybrain label. You can hear more new releases that have recently been added at

Released: 2006


"Brainwave" was very much the track that saw Phace gain widespread attention when it was released on the Subtitles label in 2005. If you like this track I would recomend you download this mix to hear tracks from their 2007 long player:

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Recorded live in Atlanta, GA on Thursday May 25th 2006.

01. Phace + Noisia - The Feed - Subtitles Music
02. Optical - Fibre Optic - Virus
03. Noisia + TeeBee - Time Stops - Subtitles Music
04. Phace - 3002 - Subtitles Music
05. Misanthrop - Centrifuge - Subtitles Music
06. Phace - Open Your Eyes - Subtitles Music
07. Noisia - Facade VIP
08. Phace + Mayhem - LoveSexPain - Subtitles Music
09. Noisia - Block Control VIP
>> Matrix - Apache - Virus
10. Phace - Tranquilizer - Subtitles Music
11. TeeBee + Calyx - Find Yourself
12. Kemal - Bleed - Negative
13. Noisia - Omissions - Vision
14. Phace + Noisia - Unveil - Virus
15. Vicious Circle + EBK - Cruise Control - DSCI4
16. Phace - Cataphiles - Subtitles Music
17. Noisia + Mayhem - Choke (Ft MC Verse) - Vision
18. Phace + Noisia - Thrillseekers (Flesh Edit)
19. Gridlok + Break + Silent Witness + D-Bridge + Hive - Standing Room Only - Violence
20. Phace - Fingerfood - Subtitles Music
21. Noisia - Bad Dreams - Vision
22. Misanthrop - Factory
23. Noisia - Endgame - Virus
24. TeeBee + Calyx - The Shape Of Things To Come
25. Phace - Psycho - Subtitles Music


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For more mixes from Transit, check out [/b]


Well what can I say about this tune apart from I loved it as soon as I heard it. Here's some info about the track from the man himself:

"For the record, the 'Arrival' track is a remix of the Weird Attractors track of the same name (my old band). It was produced for our last CD , 'Adrenaline Soup' (Earshot Recordings), which was a project of 2 studio tracks and a plethora of remixes from lesser known scottish producers. (this particular rmx never got used though).

If you want to get ahold of a copy of the CD, the best way is prob to contact Earshot -

There's details on our old band site at although we are not playing together anymore."

Personally I don't think it's the best offering from the selection available - my pick is "The Other Side", a track which I find both very touching and powerful in equal measure. It's something I'm sure that fans of Polar, Autechre, T Power or old school Teebee will find appreciation for. The two Techno / IDM offerings are also as good as the D&B tracks, "Pied Piper" being a personal favourite to mix for its more conventional structure. But overall what offers a very hybridised sound away from the norm excites me most, and I would love to see a few of them signed and on vinyl sometime in the future. That would be one record I would support immensely.

Lastly, many thanks to Anonymi for providing the 320s of all these tracks for mixing purposes. It's so nice to speak to someone that's been so forthcoming about playing a part in this mix series.

Here is his myspace if you want to add him, or get more information on his musical endeavours:

Sample comment:

TheTerpsichoreProject Wrote:Listened to Part 4 a few times now and I can safely say its a keeper.

I don't think anyone realises the immense amount of time and quality control Muttley puts into his mixes.

No key clashes, full in depth discovery of each tune, he has full respect for the artist that made the tune.

If I were a producer i'd be very happy to let Muttley mix my tunes as he doesn't rape them in the mix.


Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.5 - Something To Believe In - November 2008

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"Something To Believe In" is my ode to a detached state I encountered this summer; where numbess did not subside readily, and I was sedated by intrinsic coping techniques. It's a by-product of an alliance that broke down; one that ticked a lot of boxes for how relationships evolve, and how and when to let go. As a chance to make amends, meaning that I will never make the same mistakes again, I decided to reach into my collection of ambient recordings, matching up music in juxtapositions of literary peace with another. As such, the tunes selected are small revelations in themselves. The progression is representative of what marks as an arrow to level-headed plains for me. Part 5 of my 15 Minutes Of Fame mix series, I have Macc to thank for his excellent mastering job, and cordani for the first rate artwork. Big ups, guys.

Related links:

The "15 Minutes Of Fame" mix series manifesto

Subvert Central Mastering

Mixed with 2 Pioneer CDJs, 1 Ecler Nuo3 mixer & Cubase SX 3.

Macc Wrote:It was a pleasure working on that mate, a real joy! Smile

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.6 - Back To Dangerous - December 2008

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You can try burning a candle at both ends, but then the flame won't be eternal. "Back To Dangerous" depicts a stage where refraining from temptation is the safest route. A woman I once had an online friendship with, I lost to confusion, mistakes and letting my heart rule my head. I miss my old talks with her so much, but understand that if I contact her again, words could cut too deep. I can instead make a toast to Macc and cordani for their efforts on this file, and for anyone suffering hardships with your lover or friends, I hope it gives you soul food not too close for comfort. Listen in evening hours for full effect.

Mixed in Cubase SX3.

mundos Wrote:really enjoyed it, you managed to make it sound like a long continuous track/journey. excellent work.

Muttley - 15MOF Pt.7 - Forgive And Forget - January 2009

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"Forgive And Forget" is dedicated to my youngest grandmother, who peacefully slipped away from us in the early hours of 7th December 2008. You are forever loved, friend.

The theme here is as the title says it. Notice a capitalisation of 'And' to bring more importance to what we're forgiving, and what's to be forgotten. My grandmother was able to do this for each one of us, and for that I am eternally grateful to her. Despite our family differences, and struggles thereof, we managed to resolve everything before she passed over. "Love's Theme" is joined with a one minute, respectful silence - it's what she wanted played at the end of her funeral - so it's added here as a memento piece.

Each track contains piano, but in the midst of this are several permutations in atmosphere. I'd like to think it spells out sentimental moods for reflection on life: now; then. I hope you enjoy it.

Mixed in Cubase SX3.

Macc Wrote:Forgive And Forget is gorgeous from start to finish. And I did wonder about that silence. RIP.

Muttley - 15MOF Pt.8 - Let Sleeping Dogs Lie - February 2009

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"Let Sleeping Dogs Lie" is a continuation of the themes in my 15 Minutes Of Fame instalments so far. "Something To Believe In" was the letting go, "Back To Dangerous" the refraining from temptation to go back, "Forgive And Forget" self-explanatory, whereas this is an order to not open up old conversational wounds and mishaps. Opening track "Soulmates" sets the tone of the file, with the vocals "I think everyone's got another side to them when they're left alone" a precursor to the "Stories Of Solace In Miniature" investigations I have forthcoming.

Crossing from a collage to compilation style, "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie" is augmented with depth via a metanarrative of deviation from the vocalists. Prologue piece "Doldrums" by The Ancients breaks swathes of Machinefabriek's droney ambience in two, with the lyric "when you're alone, the fires are gone". Superimposed next to Jessica Baliff & Annelies Monsere's "Shadow", we get swept up in a bittersweet tempest, the breathy exhortations curving audible language such as "the miles between" and "summons you" out of a heady slowcore brew.

It's this blending that mirrors the peaks and troughs of a traditional relationship. Encapsulating a forlorn longing, "once upon a time it was you by the door" from Burial's "In McDonalds" highlights when I lost the woman I've spoke of in this saga. Back in October 2007, a friend she has online came into a web topic with the prompt "Tell Her", which ever since has shook me to the bones - whereby I believe I'm being watched over by herself and others.

Indeed in comparison, I am advised to fill my life with extrinsic distractions. One day I hope I will be clear of this castration on my conscience. The woman meant the world to me when I was down and vulnerable, but the vulnerabiliity is ringing worse with how long the gap is from talking things through with her - as a sensitive human being. I've written out crumpled letters in my head for her, also on paper and wordpad documents - tried to explain my side of the bargain in the best means I could. The urge to contact is so strong, as if my life is incomplete without her knowing the full extent of how I really felt.

Whatever the score, I have to keep pushing on. In this musical dialogue I settle for the "So long" messages of "Melon Yellow" by Slowdive - "it's just a way to love you", and country counterpoint, "I Couldn't Say It To Your Face" by Arthur Russell - "you won't be there to say I'm wrong". In transition of this impulse lies "Fuck Everything" from Zelienople's "Stone Academy"; "We went everywhere, every town" / "You've forced everything you don't want" / "They want everything you don't want" / "And when it rains outside I don't walk" / "Don't ever change" supplying a schizophrenic offset to the side effects of my stress-induced symptoms.

More on those later. Today, I have Macc to thank for his mastering services, and cordani for providing the top class artwork once again. I hope you enjoy "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie". I've learnt to forgive and forget, now I must apply a milestone to moving on from the problems I have faced.

Mixed in Cubase SX3.

reTRenD Wrote:cheeers for all ur awesome free shit mutt m8

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.9 - Sink Or Swim - March 2009

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"Sink Or Swim" is Episode 1 of "Stories Of Solace In Miniature". It will be represented with regular "15 Minutes Of Fame" instalments. Episode 1 is dedicated to psychosis prevention. On the basis that psychosis can "lead to changes in mood and thinking and to abnormal ideas", as the EPPIC (Early Psychosis Prevention and Intervention Centre) factsheet says, I chose works that used repetition which fluctuates depending on the mood - deep moods, for comedown, elation (one of the better side effects of psychosis) and anxiety management.

I experienced my first episode last summer, and believe that as a sufferer of the condition, it would be ideal for me to give a lowdown. Fennesz' "Grey Scale" commences the sequence, a guitar track that the listener can use to calm oneself before the closing feedback storm of this episode; working to lull when played on repeat, or consecutively with louder files. In psychosis, it is possible that a person can see, hear, feel, smell or taste something that is not actually there. Establishing stable ground is therefore a prerequisite. "Grey Scale" works to solidify the melancholic deflections made.

Vic Chesnutt's "Over" is the joining muscle from the "confused thinking" to "changed feelings" section of the psychosis factsheet, and the link to guitar-meets-vocal prevalent throughout the mix. With his deeply personal lyrics, Vic comments "It ain't over 'til its over, just like some joker said". When incapacitated, I transisted a broad range of self-doubt and fragmented thoughts - flying into one another. Everyday living became confused, and my anxiety felt very uncomfortable.

Sometimes I would have a thought like "you were most likely to bleed to death in an alleyway" from Busdriver's "Memoirs Of The Elephant Man"; an album big on personality analysis. This would speed up, slow down, then collide or run around surplus threads of thoughts; circling relentlessly - as if to probe myself of all defences. Many a day these patterns would enshroud subjects and turn themselves into a negative mush. For example, recalling a look behind myself in all the worst cases ("I've glanced at someone wrong"; "I shouldn't have observed for that long") as opposed to ending as it happened. As mentioned by EPPIC, "a person may have difficulty concentrating, following a conversation or remembering things". With "Over" setting the scene vocal wise, we get to learn that "It sucks when it's over, and you can't get it back" / "Why do we all want to, like a pack of necrophiliacs". Vic transforms his songwriting into a powerful tool for self-restraint, dampening of emotions and moodswings upheaval. It's taken from "North Star Deserter", an incredible collection of songs, recorded with, amongst others, Efrim from A SIlver Mount Zion.

"Friendly With The Father" is, comparatively, a call to respecting what our closest family has to say. When at my most psychotic, I could act very frustrated, often going off on tangents, where I was half sure my family were conspiring against me. With realism being the key factor on many fronts, and my close family representing the "real" utmost, it remains a very difficult line to walk - of not putting trust into them. Not only does it go against my wishes to mistrust, I was gauging what suspicions were expressed myself, rather than relying on the benefactor of my inadvertently delusional mental state - my parents. Granted, some suspicions were likely to become implausible over time. Especially one's where thinking danger or destruction could rear its head. I can recall several occasions where I uttered thoughts that people were coming to trash the house, or be hostile towards me. Hell, even the worry that the woman I would have liked a relationship with was on the brink of suicide, or ready to turn up on my doorstep.

An important marker in my own memory is "are these suspicions realistic enough to warrant the medium of speech?" Then, greater clarity for anyone involved could transpire more accurately. But in the midst of the strongest beliefs, it was a real test on my loved ones. As the song goes, "And you serve a taking" / "When it's up" / "The littlest thing is often fortified" / "And triggered shaky". My moods swung in such tradition. One particular highlight of the psychosis was belief that my father (who, to paraphrase, I have always been friendly with) and sister (slight sibling friction at points, but nothing substansial) were biting at me with banter that concerned our pet dogs, Mutley (seeing my web pseudonym as such) and Tara. Anything from trivial jokes to the dog ("pig dog" / "slimy") to playing the D key on a guitar (from an older webzine project, D was an emblem for "danger in the air"). And so I would question them on matters like this, or believe that there were people turning up that I wasn't made aware of on purpose. Things like this stuck out sharper in the earlier stages, for someone who's detachment, and inner torment does not easily cease.

The following writing comes from a study inspired by practice in "Overcoming Paranoid And Suspicious Thoughts" by Daniel Freeman, Jason Freeman and Phillipa Garety. Headed "Tangential reasoning fragility", it was caused by my mind "associating visuals based on much interpretation".

Mental conflicts occur occasionally over outside matter (e.g an ice cream van's theme tune, gardening work that has growth related to its properties, such as a strawberry plant coming to fruition). Words and older conversations that concerned the relationship breakdown: etymologically linked threads of information, such as headlights of cars, media interspersed in my path (books, placements, ideological bonds from them), or by intermissions which are broadcasting to a larger number of people (radio at work, televisual links, advertising juxtapositions)...everything is not taken for granted, and the results can be quite painful. Such movements I believe can act as undercurrents for daily emotions, whereby suspicious thoughts peak at ideas of constant, multifaceted monitoring. The ice cream truck - seeing as the song played touches, as I'm aware, on a questioning-of-clause, sociological approximation ("Yankee doodle came to town riding on a pony" / "He stuck a feather in his hat and called It macaroni"), it can lead me into thinking that there is nearby recording of my whereabouts.

Another medium in late June has been postal supplements. My thoughts contain the ideation of testing, via indirect methods, from past personalities, as to whether "free" (general marketing offers) are to pique my interest (we have received three postcards from The Art Fund). When I had my last counselling session, this was an exercise implemented to aid circumstansial discrimination. I interlinked a textured facial image with a darkened, seemingly enclosed space, the word "solemn", then finally, a curved footpath circling a stony wall: palm trees positioned overhead of a wooden door, decorated forefrontal, with plant pots at ground height. Included in the package was a prospectus titled "Your future, in your hands" and pictures by three artists: one a naked figure, the second a watery landscape, third a mother and daughter in a forest.

How I'd like to react, is of course with balance - holding validity as a bright torch. In practice however, resulting behaviour can turn overwhelming, and scatterbrained. Being told you are mentally ill, does not qualify a deduction of analytical thought - especially when I am fearing for the safety of my parents and sister. In any case, the collective sanity quota is of worry, too, forever emotions of empathy existing in the heart. Key issues should not always be forgone conclusions for this either - if that were the case, tolerance of anyone could have snapped under excessive strain by now. These patterns (cast as delusional, hallucinatory or just plain raw) are a by-product of the psychosis, I do understand; just as we strive for peaceful resolutions, though, our indecision, clarity and stability are factors shared by everyone.

There are ways, through all this heat, I could ascertain calm mindstates. It is surely to walk with caution, but to not be blinded by our own science. In certain scenarios, dimensions of regular language are associative, to my mind; playing off integrated counterpoints in my sentimentality and reminisence. Aligned is my knowledge of how outside influence, presupposes domino effects, bleeding into the family characteristic - and if not, steps back instead of forward - me asserting the required capacity for PC interaction; necessitating trust of self, over degradation of self-esteem.

So it's safe to say exaggeration was most definitely possible - once as a by-product of self-validation (my thoughts and concerns resulting); second towards my family (worries for them); third, the collective existence of those known and unknown (how instigated I could be unaware or subconscious), and in general, a continuous ambiguity which as it stretched further than minutes, would add more and more erronous judgements into the equation. Therefore it's good to understand there is warmth and protection from those nearest and dearest to us; as provoked by the repeated chorus: "Into the shade / "The songs that they sang you" / "Back underground" / "The house that they built you". "Friendly With The Father" is one of the more lyrically coherent tracks from Zelienople, and perfect for this inclusion.

I recommend EPPIC's "How can I help someone with psychosis?" factsheet for explaining where one can get help, and how we should relate to a person who is ill. To put it as written: "Be yourself. Gain information and understand that the person may be behaving and talking differently due to the psychotic symptoms. Understand that psychotic symptoms are stressful for everyone and that you may have a range of feelings - shock, fear, sadness, anger, frustration, despair. Talking with other people will help you deal with these feelings. Believe the person will recover - even if it takes some time. Be patient." Personally, ambiguous events are the mainstay of what I've had to tackle - step by step - piece by peace. By track four - Leafcutter John's "Seba" - we are treading near to rhetoric on first episode psychosis.

EPPIC notes: "People experiencing a first episode may not understand what is happening." I can attest that - it wasn't until my relationship buckled in May of last year that I sought greater help than a counsellor to compact my problems. I was diagnosed with biploar disorder to start with. This was alternated with 'biploar depression'. Whichever, "The symptoms can be highly disturbing and unfamiliar, leaving the person confused and distressed. Unfortunately negative myths and stereotypes about mental illness and psychosis in particular are still common in the community." Knowing this, I selected "Seba" for its familiarity qualities - a strong set of hooks: "Slow down, you're always swimming way too fast" / "And if you drown, you're never ever going to last" / "Let me go, where I will and where I do" / "Let me swim, far below into you" - a refracted theme of adoration and accepted modes: "Your eyes are black, snake skin" / You push me out, just to pull me in, closer to you" - and most importantly, tender love and care in its build. This leads me to describe 'acute' psychosis as opposed to 'prodome' psychosis.

When I was unable to shake off my acute symptoms, I had beliefs like the radio and television were talking to me. Originally I picked up a genesis with radio messages through an incomplete day at work, dated as early June (before I was signed off). A wealth of subject matter = red door - "house of pain" theoretic, multiplied by testing / social experiment parameters; a red cone placed next to the car, moved with consecutive back / forth repetition of various vehicles = total colour co-ordination chaos. Seeing blue cars as untrusting of my movements (like blue forum smilies); larger engines, such as fork-lift trucks and silver trailers viewed with ambidextrous capacity - when paired with smaller vehicles (size worries), and noticed processions. Multiple sounds were active as ensignia patches - e.g drills and their distance, an inhibitive gesture as to touching house areas formed incorrectly, or to overbearing contrivance. Then the knock-on totalling exercises where I would be on the ground floor one minute and revisiting the top floor afterward - imagining visual alterations like an area that was leaking, or bleeding, further, off this transaction of reality / non-reality, inside my own headspace.

I noted down lists of tracks, gathering names from radio hosts and producers for quite a period. Believing, or perhaps hoping in hindsight, that the woman was trying to contact me. In reading back on my worst hours, I have my family to thank much for guaranteeing I would recover - to Phase 3: Recovery - "In spite of common misperceptions, recovery from a first episode of psychosis is more probable than possible, and with the right help many never experience another psychotic episode." I have the Early Intervention and Crisis teams to praise immensely for computing what occurred during recovery. I see the former still today; their help is greatly appreciated.

At this time we'll have progressed to the piano sentimentalism of "Roes 9" by Machinefabriek. I've seen various works of his rise and fall on the Boomkat newsletters like stock market shares. This, from "Weeler", a 2CD on Lampse, carries textures that proceed into "Time And Space" by Lou Rhodes and The Cinematic Orchestra. With this sequencing, I was wishing to shape an alternative route to the area of "False beliefs" by EPPIC; "The person is convinced of their delusion that the most logical argument cannot make them change their mind". So, whether a listener is in Phase 1: Prodome - Phase 2: Acute to Phase 3: Recovery, we get the optimistic deliveries of "Dream, little boy, dream" / "Dream, little girl, dream" soothing the senses before a potential anxiety crisis. The convergence of styles forms an affective bridge - "In joy and pain, each one will grow" - before we slip into a reservoir of positivity.

Overflowing with splendour and beautiful dynamics, "Bridget Riley" closes proceedings with flourishes of pertinent noise. As EPPIC writes, "People with psychosis may behave differently from the way they usually do. They may be extremely active or lethargic. They may laugh inappropriately or become angry or upset without apparent cause. Often, changes in behaviour are associated with the symptoms described above". As the final track for Episode 1, I listen to "Bridget Riley" as a departure from all wrongdoing; an aleviation that Quetiapine, Risperidone, Citalopram and Olanzapine tablets cannot touch - an oasis for the damaged soul.

On the above medication prescribed, I have lived in situationism with my surroundings. By this I mean literally everything was discerned to alarming degrees, and strategies to cope were developed, notwithstanding investigations into what my parents were buying, see also my details on family conspiring. For instance, I couldn't eat "Pink Lady" apples because of the association with women. Until we bought newer apples I would dodge eating this in favour of food that was etymologically sound. Everything from lemon and herb (herb being American slang for a fool / short-sighted) fish portions to chicken (thighs, whole or kebab) would impact on my days lived - thinking I was being cast as a chicken for staying with my folks (the woman and her friends had my home address and mobile number). Items moved in the household were analysed for potential of setting up sensory attacks - e.g a "look braver than you are" fridge sticker was something to watch for if it was directed at my mother.

The first drug (Quetiapine) was given to me as a mood stabiliser. It came off a reference to bipolar disorder in my family. Incidentally, the term psychosis actually covers a number of psychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. People with these illnesses sometimes experience very powerful paranoia. They can have strong beliefs that others don't share (known as delusions). They can hear voices when no-one is around, and see and feel things that people around them don't see or feel (hallucinations). Often the voices that people hear are very critical.

Conforming to this severity, the treatment quite probably helped with the psychotic symptoms, and it is necessary for me to remember that I was originally barred from internet activity, which made my behaviour turn partially helpless - I was unable to reconcile things on a singular level, yet responsibility was mine, regarding how I started out. Sleep was heightened, perhaps because my brain turned burnt to a crisp. Later, I had an errand of suicidal thinking where I had upset my family as well as me. As before, though, I am very thankful to my parents for their precautionary measures. In the early days I relocated to my parent's house, and was in belief I could be filmed as part of a fly-on-the-wall documentary. This would show how lacking I was in other areas, so I thought. It took me back to words by the woman when asked if she wanted to work on the relationship - "make me think that at the end of the day, some great reward will be coming my way". At this point I was looking to be an even better person, so left replying to her for around a week. In hindsight I wish I had nipped things in the bud there and then. Nevertheless, I wouldn't have this story to tell you if things had worked out.

There are somewhere between half a million and a million people who have been diagnosed as suffering from psychosis in the UK. And persecutory thoughts don't just occur out of the blue. They are our attempts to make sense of our experiences. They are our explanations of the world around us and the way we feel inside. If you believe someone is suffering, and you have no-one external to contact, I will be happy to talk through ways of coping with the condition. In any case, I hope "Sink Or Swim" will be enjoyable, whether you're underneath the radar, partaking in cognitive behavioural therapy or further interested in the field.

Related links:

EPPIC's "What is psychosis" factsheet

EPPIC's "How can I help someone with psychosis?" factsheet

Psychosis Sucks: website

HiddenSound Wrote:Listened and read twice... intriguing and enjoyed it. I like the feeling of all of it, the thoughts, emotions, and experiences combined with the music into a unique abstract vibe that lets me get a small glimpse into your amazing mind, but also the troubles you have as well. I deeply respect you being open with this, and I know you will find that balance.

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.10 - Swallow Your Words - April 2009

[Image: tdd_20.jpg]
Artwork credits: cordani @


"Swallow Your Words" is Episode 2 of "Stories Of Solace In Miniature". It's dedicated to anxiety reduction. On the basis of a publicised quote from "Overcoming Paranoid And Suspicious Thoughts", the outcome of me writing this may be undisclosed, but what I aim to ensure is that those reading don't make the same mistakes as I did. As the book writes, "The effort involved in explaining your fears to another person can mean that you're expressing those anxieties more fully than you've done before. You also get to hear them out loud. Instead of a jumble of thoughts rattling round your brain, you're presented with some clearer statements to the problem. All this helps give you some perspective on your worries and makes it a little easier for you to assess whether they're justified or not".

"Stories Of Solace In Miniature" harnesses proactivity in chronology, not planning to put cement on readers' shoulders. Simultaneously underlining banality and controversy, "Swallow Your Words" is a symbolic gesture for sucking up air and letting things be. However it also marks as the first port of call to where I contacted one of the woman's friends again. Within the confines of the recording I am able to rehearse what swallowing my words does for expressing fear, loneliness and longing for acceptance through tracks. These qualities I wished for improvement in repairing of the relationship; a shame things went awry before it was resolved. I turn my shoulder to the past and mull over when I lost this woman's friendship. One of her friends was left to do the dirty work of telling me in no uncertain terms to "F### right off" as I booked a flight to their city, calling me a freak, a stalker, and saying I should get professional help in his opinion.

What can I say. The travel itinerary I sent was elucidated trust, thinking it would certifiy heartfelt words I poured from Christmas to when, in May, it disintegrated out of dual ignorance - she wasn't inclined to talk to me - and I was inclined to make things work with her. It wouldn't be so bad if I was told in concrete form to stop messaging. Instead I was strung along until, finally, straw broke the camels back. Them having my address and mobile number also contributed to the paranoid and suspicious thoughts I am still encountering. But out of battle-weariness comes maturing, and I am ever thankful for the lessons I have learned.

Starting the file is the heinous "Tippy's Demise" by Stars Of The Lid, a drone piece designed to bring out the demons and wipe them over with the soap of kings. Matched up with "Opening Titles" by The Cinematic Orchestra, the second part of the track undergoes submergence by a rising string-based wash. From then on, "Borderlands" by Tim Hecker represents a travelling to the outer reaches of the psyche. Taken from "An Imaginary Country", the melodies swell like that of a rough panic attack. Being on wavelength in construction and placement, a silence is added as a cadence to punctuate this change.

In doing so the progression is liable to work like a breathing exercise. I have obtained several exercises to practice, but the standout one I have to include here is: "Square Breathing".

1. Get into a comfortable position, ensure you have an open posture.
2. Imagine a box in your mind.
3. Take a breath for a count of three and imagine that you pass the top side of the box.
4. As you imagine yourself to pass the first side of the box, hold your breath for a count of three.
5. As you imagine yourself to pass the bottom side of the box, breathe out for a count of three.
6. As you imagine passing the last side of the box, hold your breath for a further count of three.
7. Try to repeat this a couple of times and practice.

I tried to select music for "Swallow Your Words" that encapsulated broody behaviour. Expelling it positively is the subsequent logical step. While listening to "Swallow Your Words" for the first three pieces, you can grab the bull by the horns and attempt such an exercise. In stark contrast, "The Secret Place" by The Daysleepers is letting us depart and retreat, each pause in percussion pregnant with foreboding warmth. "Come on let's leave this place / We disappear without a trace / Vanish into the air / You cannot find us anywhere". In recovery I mark lying down to rest a tool for galvanising state. Then comes a favourite by Supertramp: the epic "Rudy". We are invited by gentle piano, and ballad-tempo singing, to hear of his unlucky fortunes and rhetoric as to change: "You'd better gain control now / You'd better show 'em all now / You'd better make or break now / You'd better give and take now".

When I was growing up I used to listen to "Rudy" as a recital of what my fortunes were. It's a little known fact that I was once a full contact kickboxer. I trained three nights a week, my focus solely instilled to increasing my skills and precision. I quit the gym when I was eighteen years old but remember much from the period where, from 13 up to the final day, I would train with solemn moods imbued by optimism for my fate as an individual. Those days are long behind me, thankfully, although I am now back training after a three year break. When I retrace my footing, the palpatations in rhythm could be responsible for my paradigms in anxiety today. When you partake in eight mile runs, intense sparring classes and sustained aerobics, there is little room for conservatism. Training would accelarate from three months notice to a peak of fitness.

My last planned fight was the worst to take, only because it never happened. I failed the medical examination due to very low blood pressure, and in truth I was relieved, because I couldn't face it. I realised through three months of the hardest training I'd ever done that fighting was not for me. Luckily for my opponent there was a replacement fighter available, but that day I will never forget - the sense of bereavement is etched into my skull. What I felt after my fight was cancelled were suicidal thoughts; like everything I lived for was my status in kickboxing. I bled tears, worsened by fears of being chastised by clubmates and aquaintances, their perceptions focused on where I would fight again, and my gradually mellowing attitude to gym practice.

Looking back today, I put so many eggs in that basket. I was happier assisting - being on the fringes at shows, taking gloves to dressing rooms, cheering on my fellow clubmates - a passive aggregator of emotions and experiences. Similarly, where I watched the woman's MySpace page for updates of mood and songs played, there was no reason for dictatorial persuasion. However I lost my mind over it, running up to my parents house when something as small as a keyword change to a media head case (Britney Spears) came to the fore of my vision. Then came "destiny unfolded, I watched it slip away" by Joy Division. Searching for the song's history, its association with suicide set me reeling, whereby I was convinced the woman was in a really bad way; me wondering if I could help via continued contact. How foolish I was to think she was really interested.

"If spring can take the snow away, can it melt away all our mistakes?" asks Kanye West in "Coldest Winter". True, every tune in "Swallow Your Words" was discovered in the winter season. Like "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie", there is a metanarrative at work here, increasingly aligned with mental health methodolgy by there being five different vocalists in the file. They chat to the listener like a counsellor would to a patient. In boundless desire for the best outcome, I would add tracks to my recorded media playlists as reactionary pledges or pitches to the woman. For example, she replied to my "Built Then Burnt" (A Silver Mount Zion) lyrics with "memories may last for years but names are just for souvenirs", from "Some Kind Of Stranger", by the Sisters Of Mercy. "Goodbye my friend, I won't ever love again" is the final message we receive from Kanye. I don't know whether I will invest so much emotionally in an online relationship ever again, that's for certain. Like a narrow pipe filling slowly, but inexorably with sludge, I understood the virtue of moderation, but abused it with obsession.

When driven by my compulsions, I would find it very difficult to make snap decisions. Anxiety grabbed hold of me, forcing my mind to tackle the here and now, minus the concrete evidence of "here because". Like a lorry switching lanes, the trigger for self-analytical behaviour is cumbersomely manoeuvred from point a to b; horrible panicky periods that manifest like the look of a stranger towards a pining child. One day I attempted to visit my house, with my mother taking our dogs for a walk. I got stuck where the radio was playing "Moving" by Supergrass, and had a panic attack heading out to meet her. The lyrics of aforementioned track, "Stop wasting my time" refracted from the prism of words I received from the friend who warned me off. While this was happening I noted a red trailer truck with two planks of wood in the storage bay. A young couple had a small tiff in the intermittence of the trip, me thinking this was literally a "film trailer construct" that would depict a future sequence of events between me, the woman and her friends if they came to visit.

Faces I saw (in cars, or on foot) moulded into different guises, guises of people I thought were conspiring to afflict my progress. The trouble within is not knowing how to express that affliction in common terms. Whereby everyone's positioning in thought would bounce fast off each other, me overstimulated as to reply anxiously, feeling like I'm going to scream, but all that comes out was "I need help." That's difficult to counteract when the words for what I'm feeling don't seem to exist. Other times I would have thoughts running as rhythmic integers while talks were had. For example this files' "The Secret Place" by The Daysleepers ("I can't go back to life as it was" the pacifier) was patched together in small chunks when a chat with my parents regarding work, or a lack thereof - due to illness - was initiated. This area of conduct is hard to describe, so I can respond with an excerpt from my July diary;

"It of course makes me question left and right of validity, though not always as I'd like - through questioning strangers out of social context; this is a level I haven't reached - and sometimes I'm unable to - those in and out of cars, on their slower / faster routes. Like tonight, a fully subconscious affair that draws on a) piecing together faces, when faces aren't the same, b) juggling emotional stability, with subsequent following compulsions, to c) evaluating space and time coherently in whichever road to a solution we walk, then d) applying enough tact and re-acknowledgement that none of these sightings could be correct, to e) re-ordering our constructs, sense and optimism for re-integrating into the internet fold. An important factor / dividing concept is treating emotions arbitrary from computer contact - for a short while - or at least until enough composure is regained for the most positive resolutions available to the changes (private / non-private). All could be science fiction if I find contradictory information when able to return online".

June 2008: "Anxiety, raw emotions, and a disfigured, prediction-and-plan lifestyle change accomodates more worry. My fault alone, for I have struggled to rectify my doubts, especially when feeling so far away from normality. It's also necessary for me to say that, seeing as connections with my status, three to four months ago have shifted, a metamorphosis of unpredictable outcomes could have sprouted, perhaps all down to others not having indisputable truth that I had compassion for them, or that I would return, or furthermore, how friendships online could have disappeared altogether. I have faith in those people I spoke of, a lot of faith for good; all that stops disclosure now, is time to heal under supervision. I write with no wishes for aggrandised entitlements, and that, through all my suspicious thoughts, unstable moods and sombre hours, I know there is light waiting, in whatever consistency we progress to - as long as honesty and integrity stays inside".

Instead of a hallucination where I could see things that weren't there, it was as if every aspect of the stasis was enlarged, and me watching others like I was using a giant microscope; picking up small nuances like how their sentence ended, to how long they took to speak again. An unexpectedly complex method in the madness, where any foundations of sense were obscured by temperaments modifying quickly, or communication altering in subject and application. Uniform ordinations are rare, tangled sensory fusions a speciality.

PJ Harvey's voice on "Broken Harp" I treat as the woman's medium. "Can you forgive me? Forgive me, can you?" Followed by: "I tried to learn your language, but fell asleep half undressed, unrecognisable to myself." In the process of watching her I found out she was a swinger, which dampened my spirits when I thought conversing with her was in vain. I put so much into talking with her - she was upheld as special by me. Hence Supertramp's "Crime Of The Century" is the climax among magnitude and order. It's self-effacing of the bad qualities of man: "Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory? Rip off the masks and let's see." It takes me back to middle teenage years and delusions of grandeur - having yourself told that you could be a world champion by the time you're 20, is all very appreciated, but not great when it gives you an inflated ego. The competition I fought were all very challenging, make no mistake. I was the first fighter from their gym to be a junior on the bill of the promotions, and the youngest to have an international contest. I cherish the memories as much as the recordings I have of them. "But thats not right - oh no, whats the story? There's you and there's me / That can't be right." I replayed this song in spades before I engaged in semi-contact bouts, slowly fading the volume when the CD was to change track in ritualistic fashion.

To paraphrase, it's perhaps criminal that I didn't follow up my message to the woman's friend who shouted me down. I have a document saved that recounts all my sightings and views, dated as May 16th 2008, maybe forever destined for the desktop. So "Swallow Your Words" is indeed an apt title for this time. Me telling an audience of what I've covered up for so long - loss of self-esteem when training, to psychotic behaviour when recovering: it's not easy to present. If you think ill of me for what I've done, there is space for healthy criticism. I hope you enjoy this trip through the "Stories Of Solace In Miniature" archive.

Mixed in Cubase SX 3.

K-Tech Wrote:Listened today, excellent stuff, thanks Muttley!

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.11 - For The Night Owls - May 2009

[Image: S_01_updated.jpg]


"For The Night Owls" is dedicated to my oldest uncle, who died of an inoperable brain tumour on April 19th 2009. In January he was diagnosed with CNS Lymphoma, and had everything from chemotherapy to steroids to try and shrink the piercing mass. Unfortunately this wasn't successful.

The closing shudder of "Ages" tops off the fragility in which relationships can succumb to. "It took us ages to create / And we fill up the pages / Take it down in a day". Before this enters "Cracks In The Canvas" that I reviewed for The Dastardly Depot Stop 19, by PJ Harvey and John Parish. It represents the loss of motion from the vacuum finality of Quosps "Void" - "How do we cope with the days after a death, empty days, nothing left, not even a funeral?" Such questions are not predestined notions; they make us analyse our whole purpose on this earth.

Mixed in Cubase SX 3.

jones gloomy Wrote:Great mix, lovely vibes Twothumbs

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.12 - Drones In Duality - June 2009

[Image: drones.jpg]
Artwork credits: cordani @


"Drones In Duality" is the first in a series of mixes dedicated to Bridewell Gardens, which I visit every week to engage in therapeutic conservation and decorating work. The name is a reference to the double meaning properties of each track title, and the transference of a gesture in two different timeframes - before mucking in, and after a days' graft.

For instance, Bibio's "Cherry Blossom Road" encompasses the ability to walk down roads adorned with flowers, to and from the bus trip to Bridewell, while "Sleep In The Eyes" identifies the product of doing much work on the premises, or getting cobwebs out on the journey in. Hammock's "We Will Say Goodbye To Everyone" nods to the friendly atmosphere I've encountered, and the desire to wish well each person I meet there. Pan American's "So That No Matter" curtails an extended metaphor for "so that no matter what problems I face, I can get through the day, with help from my friends and family".

This is segued into Hakobune's "Realization At Dusk", which symbolises the enjoyment factor I weigh up the evening prior (getting sorted to make a stop) and heretofore the welcoming in of darkness (post-assignments and seeing everyone off). Oophoi's "Beyond These Skies" is the subsequent result of thinking forward, to what can be sentimental gold beyond nostalgic trifles. Then "Diamonds In The Sky" arrives to calm the listener: "They shine in the night / The diamonds in the sky / The sweet dreaming girl's paradise". "Softkiller": incomprehensible lyrics act as the undertow to ethereal guitar noodling and hushed chants.

Grouper is juxtaposed with the grainy metamorphosising of Evangelista to end, "The Frozen Dress" a direct correlation to the freeze-frame behaviour of "Heavy Water / I'd Rather Be Sleeping". All in all, "Drones In Duality" is a 23-minute endeavour into fresh ground for me. There's lots of drones, granted, but these are counterbalanced with an accessibility from the vocals and brimming harmonies. Next up: "Time Heals All Wounds".

Mixed in Cubase SX 3.

ryan manning Wrote:i like this

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.13 - Time Heals All Wounds - July 2009

[Image: muttley_time.jpg]
Artwork credits: cordani @


"Time Heals All Wounds" consists of several symbolic interjections. Predominantly a drum and bass mix, my first since
events in Amsterdam (see SubVersion Stop 3), and two other causes not affiliated, or acting in conjunction with the Dutch event.

To download it, click here.

Comprising 150 audio clips and seven mixes, the sequence was three-tier; for one, it highlighted descriptive benefits in relation to basic genre tags - "Attitude", "Chill" and "Deepersounds" titles were attributed to each audio clip, allowing users to shape their own playlists; second, it juxtaposed aesthetic transitions where the tunes could be blended; third, cryptic data snippets covering science, nature, insomnia and etymology were submitted to aid crossing the boundaries of cigarette card-styled, information station emulation. "Time Heals All Wounds" is the continuation of such progress.

Fanu's "Tribes (remix)" symbolises the alternation of personalities I could trust during my diagnosis of suffering from psychotic depression. "Barmaid" - "Nobody had a chance to be, anyway, what? Hm?" externalizes the self-doubt and disconnected pitfalls of choice.

"You Are Never Alone" touches on the unbridled support of Bridewell Gardens in my recovery. "Calm Before The Storm (Flight Of The Albatross)" contains the vocal "You would say you'd care for me", then questioning the soloistic - "No crying, no lying, no trouble beautiful girl". Khonnor's "Daylight And Delight" centres the discerned emotions in a diaspora of confusion - "When I think that I am safe, something happens that makes me feel otherwise, because I can feel the pain of something better, could kill me".

I have hopefulness that you'll like "Time Heals All Wounds". It was originally created for my youngest grandmother's 74th birthday. Today it contains further reference and importance. It'll be the last drum and bass selection for a while, so if you're ready for another, please do let me know and I'll get on the case.

Subvert Central Mastering

Mixed with 2 Pioneer CDJs, an Ecler Nuo3 mixer and Cubase SX 3.

DJ Void Wrote:Nice work. Big up Mick Twothumbs

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.14 - Veer On The Side Of Caution - August 2009

[Image: muttley_veer.jpg]
Artwork credits: cordani @


"Veer On The Side Of Caution" is the second in a series of mixes dedicated to Bridewell Gardens, which I enrolled for earlier in 2009 to attempt work in the fields of conservation and decoration. A cross-application of mellow and meaningful music that is themed on tracks that use piano for longer than two minutes. I partake in pricking out and potting on at Bridewell and this is my soundtrack. If you're unaware what these are: pricking out is lifting sowed seeds (plants) from their beds, putting them into trays, whereas potting on is lifting tray-bound plants and placing them in pots. Sound like fun? It's helped keep me sane and sedated this fall.

I've lengthened the double whammy of purposes by integrating the ominous narratives of L-r & Radiomentale's "I Could Never Make That Music Again" LP, ala "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie", to creep in and out. It is a relay of musicians talking of their personal hardships, methods of using music as healing agents, and the contextualising of such diction in succession opens the idioms into more adventurous areas. I can apply a multitude of the speeches as buoys for my problems with psychosis, most openly "I stopped listening to music in general. I had my own personal things that I was going through. I was also going through a time of, you know, I guess I would say...I'm not retro or conservative at all you know, I'm really not".

ozenfant baxtrose Wrote:i'll have some of that. Xyxthumbs

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.15 - All Shall Be Well - October 2009

[Image: Muttley%20-%20All%20Shall%20Be%20Well%20...nekink.png]

"For the first guest mix on Phuturelabs we’re very proud to have an exclusive mix of lush ambience and downtempo-ness from Muttley.

Muttley runs the SubVersion blog where they discuss the finer points of ambient, electronica and downtempo with mixes, features, reviews and so on. He also contributes mixes to the ambient mixes blog – Low Light Mixes and we highly recommend you check out his “For Ambient Lovers” thread on DOA for a treasure trove of ambient goodness.

His reputation for deep, quality mixes preceeds him and we’re proud to have him onboard."

Download and further info:

01. Lamenter – Redeemer (from the album “Sleeping Me“Wink
02. Slow – Loma (from the album “Dual Box“Wink
03. Rameses III – We Shall Never Sing Of Sorrow (from the album “I Could Not Love You More“Wink
04. Eluvium – Amerrik (from the album “Copia“Wink
05. Harmonic 33 – Space Interval 2 (from the album “Music For Film, Television And Radio Vol.1“Wink
06. Harmonic 33 – Space Interval 3 (from the album “Music For Film, Television And Radio Vol.1“Wink
07. Intex Systems – Glaciers (from the album “Research And Development“Wink
08. The Alpha Rhythm – The Seventh Storm (from the album “Proof Of Concept“Wink

ekaj Wrote:Twothumbs

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.16 - White Horizon - November 2009

Dave Trax on Wrote:This blog was set up to host News, Mixes and Videos from DJ Trax. However, Muttley has given so much support to the underground scene and therefore I'm proud to host his latest mix.


01 - ICR - Misspent (Misspent Music)
02 - Probe-One - Protocol (Covert Operations)
03 - Silent Witness - Amazon (DNAudio)
04 - Hipnotic - White Horizon (D:Art Recordings Unreleased)
05 - ASC & Subwave - Storm System (Covert Operations)
06 - DJ Trax - This One (Subvert Central)
07 - Cloak & Dagger - Soul Sauce (Subtle Audio)

Download exclusively at

"White Horizon": a set ordinated on the principle that this kind of music can be played in clubs at peak or primetime, if handled in an alternative way, and with enough discern. The well-being of dancefloors worldwide survives on variation, though counterintuitively you won't encounter a selection like this at the majority of deeper drum and bass nights. I view the problem as comparable to the medium of film transgression. If we call punter satisfaction the pivotal scene, then most events are a Hollywood blockbuster, where trailers and sub-scenes are fabrications of longevity, and idiosyncratic gestures go to waste. With "White Horizon" I chose a broad cross-section of tracks, from digital and vinyl labels, that are either today defunct, or running on small subscription-favouring protocols.

You get a package that's a labour of love, and not a disposable pseudo-commodity - as is your average big-buck flick. The Hipnotic track smooths over the syncopation as the sole tune with a two-step beat. Contextually, it highlights and transposes that, as a DJ, you don't have to revert to heavy-hitters to get the floor moving. I hope by submitting this online, that the notion, and associated branches high and low are perceiveable to you, the listener, or reinforced, furthermore.

Rafi Clang Wrote:really enjoying this so far...wasn't aware of dnb like this, off I go to get some new records.

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.17 - Better Days To Come - November 2009

Specialised artwork to follow.

01. Asher – 1.1 (from the album “Landscape Studies”)
02. Seafar – Yob Data (from the album “Hegira”)
03. Netherworld – Jostedaal (from the album “Zaum Vol.1”)
04. Mindspan – Conversations (Unreleased)
05. Fennesz – The Point Of It All (from the album “Venice”)
06. Svarte Greiner – Ullsokk (from the album “Knive”)
07. Olafur Arnalds – Raein (from the album “Found Songs”)
08. Jasper TX – Better Days To Come (from the album “A Darkness”)
09. Autechre – Outh9x (from the album “Quaristice”)
10. Antony And The Johnsons – Daylight And The Sun (from the album “The Crying Light”)
11. Sawako – A Last Next (Instrumental) (from the album “Bitter Sweet”)
12. Peter Broderick – And It's Alright (from the album “Home”)


"Better Days To Come": dedicated to friends Conor and Louisa. This is a soundtrack to when I visited Ireland on November 7th. It begins with layered drones that border on lachrymose, overlaid with snippets of voice that are not quite quantifiable. My battle against mental compulsions tripping me up, and psychotic symptoms: hearing voices (when pleading I require assistance privately); persistent confusion, resulting in silent screaming (words lodging in my brain, outside influence from people conversing, not remembering correctly, frustrations forthwith) and deluded thinking (believing I've lived previously in that scenario, and foreseeing what responses I'd receive if I was to break my grip on rationale) - are all captured in this doctrine.

This episode in the set finishes at 13:45, where up to then my anxieties were unstable; the mood is hitherto very melancholic. Talking to Conor about "The Point Of It All" - a major link in initial words was what gigs we'd been to - freed and eased my mind when remembering we'd met twice prior. "Better Days To Come" then progresses to positive reminiscence with piano, female singing and strings. Louisa discussed with me people she knew, who would seem pretty unlikely to be noticed as having an illness. We agreed that if I hadn't said anything she wouldn't have noticed. There's a happy ending through the darkness - I was told to re-recognise that things will always pass, as they do. I have Conor to thank also for introducing me to Brian Hartnett, a founder of Hearing Voices Ireland, and ASC (aka Mindspan) for "Headspace", his second foray into ambient and minimal techno, currently unreleased.

ruralmonk Wrote:I've been blown away by every one of your mixes.

Thank you so much for sharing.Twothumbs

Hope you're well Mr.Muttley.:biggrin:

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.18 - Dreamscape - November 2009

As a celebration of 20000 views and 350 posts in my "Ambient lovers" thread, I've uploaded "Dreamscape". It's dedicated to my friend dwarde, who once said he listens to my mixes when he goes to bed, but consequently misses most of the music. The theme here is life-affirming sounds. They are, on the counter, partly ghostly in demeanour. "Dreamscape" begins beatless with long blends, then traverses classical, downtempo and drone influences. I'm trying to break the habit of building sets to crescendo levels, and instead making a proper sleep selection where perception is motionless; a strong segment of the caveat. I've started another set for this experiment.


01. Bruno Sanfilippo - Imagined Reality (from the album "Auralspace")
02. Oophoi - Night Psalm (from the album "Hymns To A Silent Sky")
03. Seafar - Dr.Catchlove (from the album "Hegira")
04. Philip Dickau - I Am With You, I Am Happy (from the album "This City, And You")
05. Stars Of The Lid - The Daughters Of Quiet Minds (from the album "and Their Refinement Of The Decline")
06. Eluvium - Reciting The Airships (from the album "Copia")
07. Slow - You Can't Say No To (from the album "Dual Box")
08. Black To Comm - Hotel Freund (from the album "Alphabet 1968")
09. Fur - Friends (from the EP "Black Castles")
10. Repetition / Distract - Ghosts On Our Train (from the album "Not Even In Sleep")
11. Breakage - Unireverse (from the album "This Too Shall Pass")
12. Noah And The Whale - Instrumental II (from the album "The First Days Of Spring")


ROKONE Wrote:looking forward to this badboy, your last few have been sublime - cheers mate :spliff: Xyxthumbs

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.19 - Mind Over Matter - December 2009

01. Robert Haigh - Tomorrow Never Came (1989) (from the album "Notes And Crossings")
02. Leyland Kirby - Memories Live Longer Than Dreams (from the album "Sadly, The Future Is No Longer What It Was")
03. Goldmund - Light (from the album "Two Point Discrimination")
04. Sylvain Chaveau - Staring (from the album "Nuage")
05. 36 - Inside (from the album "Hypersona")
06. Arlo Bigazzi & Arturo Staleri - Stregatto (from the album "Zaum Vol.1")
07. eDIT - Twenty Minutes (from the album "Crying Over Pros For No Reason")
08. Krzysztof Orluk - Beautiful Mind (from the album "Blurred Reflection")
09. Boards Of Canada - Dawn Chorus (from the album "Geogaddi")
10. Skindred - Who Are You? (from the album "Shark Bites And Dog Fights")

File temporarily unavailable.

There are all manner of things we have to overcome as we exist. Whether it be baby steps, learning speech, refraining from urges, balancing work with love, or simply bypassing the tumultuous chaos around us, everything is valid, yet somehow, the mind is not strictly as it seems. With the advent of technology doing more of the work for us, drifting and distracting ourselves can increase.

"Mind Over Matter" is a cornerstone for such behaviour. It sprouted from procrastination and my attention span waning when studying for my Open University course. "Start Listening To Music" it's called. I'm presented units to devour each week, whereby listening exercises on the accompanying cds demand me to focus in a variety of ranges. Active and passive listening, timbre, structures and forms, texture, writing about sound: it's theoretically a budding music journalists' paradise, which surprisingly, took my metaphorical biscuit of knowledge, and swallowed it whole.

I like every Muttley mixtape to have a theme. This one, by the title alone, is obvious. You can do it. You can pick yourself up and face the hardships, frustrations and enigmas the world throws at you. Even if you're singularly partaking in discovery, you are never just 'you' - but you're ideally welcome to be yourself. There is likely a fourth dimension in the panoramic distance, one that we all uncover when the mists of grey vanish and we're left with achievement or failure. Whatever the outcome, sometimes we need an informal push, and I hope this selection will help incentivise and inspire a few people to remember that memories live longer than dreams.

Rafi Clang Wrote:keep em coming :biggrin:

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.20 - Threshold - December 2009

There have been an array of online comments foretelling that music can be good for sleep, breathing, anxiety reduction et al. There have also been a multitude of mixtapes that put that stigma to the test. And we all have thresholds that limit our conscious perception of living and dreaming. "Threshold" is an excercise in assuaging these statements and reproducing their fruits.


01. William Basinski & Richard Chartier - Untitled 2 (from the album Untitled 1-3)
02. Richard Lainhart - Threshold (from the album Threshold)
03. Fennesz & Sakamoto - Oto (from the album Cendre)
04. Felicia Atkinson & Sylvain Chaveau - How The Light (from the album Roman Anglais)
05. Richard Lainhart - Cranes Fly West 040706-2 (from the album Threshold)
06. David Tagg - Cave Light Spectrum (from the album Dulcimer Studies)
07. Ian Hawgood - Ginseng & Polaramin, And One Long Slumber (from the album Before I Let The Sunshine Rot)
08. Quosp - Night Coast (from the album Soundscapes I)
09. Aphex Twin - Blue Calx (from the album Selected Ambient Works Vol.2)
10. Leyland Kirby - Tonight Is The Last Night Of The World (from the album Sadly, The Future Is No Longer What It Was)


I use "Threshold's" timeline as a measure of how active I've been that day. I then estimate what I can do to improve my sleep. By sharing this I trust there are individuals that believe in meditation, inner calm and replacing nothingness with something to treasure for years. The tracks may or may not resonate with the listener, but what they do achieve is lulling the brain and causing panic to subside.

ruralmonk Wrote:Wonderful stuff once again, will pass this on to the insomnia specialist I went to last year when going though a particularly sleepless patch.

Thank you.Smile

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.21 - Caught In Static - December 2009

01. Sawako - Cloud No Crowd (from the album Hum)
02. Apalusa - Live From The Dry Valley's (from the album Live From The Dry Valley's)
03. Stars Of The Lid - Arch Song (from the album Music For The Ballasted Orchestra)
04. Marow - Hadar (from the album Scintillation)
05. Last Days - Nothing Stays The Same, Nothing Ever Ends (from the album The Safety Of The North)


Movement is a tried and tested operation for any artistically-minded individual. It facillitates growth opportunities, frees stangnancy and liberates matters from a rigid structure. However, there are also phases that benefit from being 'stuck'. "Caught In Static" accrues such temporality.

A companion piece to "Mind Over Matter", we've had the sleep selection "Threshold", sequenced to revitalise, now is the turn of specifically chosen tracks that have a time-lapsed feel to them, which, paradoxically, condenses my concentration into a small block and appertains to reap rewards of dedication and perserverence.

Annastay Wrote:After I started to listen really found it quite comforting even though it def brings you on a journey out of where you feel you are its still safe, I let it play out and I could kind of breathe mentally with it. Very nice. Especially liked the end track on it.

Ps you are a brilliant writer. I read a few of your blogs today.
The following mainly came to my head after reading your blog 45;

Your amazing for your ability to transpose your experience into words and your ability to help your self with music, some may be able to do that, or know music could do that for them but still can't find the strength to reach for it when shit gets out of control.

So more power to you for being able to!

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.22 - Head In The Clouds - December 2009

01. Quosp - Submerged (from the album Soundscapes II)
02. Herzog - Congratulations, Here's Your Mountain (from the album First Summer And The Running Dream)
03. Carl Sagan's Ghost - Into The Light I (from the album Darkness And The Light)
04. Stars Of The Lid - Dopamine Clouds Over Craven Cottage (from the album And Their Refinement Of The Decline)
05. Rameses III - Clouds Kings (from the album I Could Not Love You More)
06. Grouper - Wind And Snow (from the album Dragging A Dead Deer Up A Hill)
07. John Foxx & Harold Budd - Raindust (from the album Transluscence)
08. Biosphere - As The Sun Kissed The Horizon (from the album Substrata)
09. The Lights Galaxia - The Last Lights In The City (from the EP Global)
10. Leyland Kirby - And At Dawn Armed With Glowing Patience, We Will Enter The Cities Of Glory (Stripped) (from the album Sadly, The Future Is No Longer What It Was)


"Head In The Clouds": constructed to celebrate my folks' 30th anniversary from meeting, in 1979. I like to dream, but I rarely recollect. And it's always conferred from my subconscious that I require an outlet to cathartically channel my state of mind.

Ahead of my tutor marked OU assessment this week, I decided to assemble a glimmer that reflected it: not quite footed in reactionary order, bordering on optimism with succinct drift. So blends don't synchronize totally, they're left to move in and out of foci, while the theme - having one's head in the clouds - is presented by the contemplative nature of the works within, and the result is a dreamy keystone where the occult is brought closer, out of burgeoning dystopia.

morso Wrote:Muttley, you legendSlayer !

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.23 - The Eyes, They See An Ominous Pillar - December 2009

01. Aquadorsa - Alone In The Rising Fog (from the album Cloudlands)
02. Lull - Like A Slow River (from the album Like A Slow River)
03. Jasper Leyland - The Low Falls (from the album Carbon Series Vol.5)
04. Last Days - Saltwater (from the album Sea)
05. Peter James - Aurora (from the album Holding On - Letting Go)
06. Stars Of The Lid - Another Ballad For Heavy Lids (from the album And Their Refinement Of The Decline)
07. Max Richter - This Picture Of Us. P (from the album 24 Postcards)
08. Alexisonfire - Rough Hands (from the album Crisis)
09. Peter Broderick - A Glacier (from the album Float)
10. Zelienople - Pajama Avenue (from the album Pajama Avenue)
11. The Caretaker - Long Term (Remote) (from the album Persistent Repetition Of Phrases)
12. Metric - Twilight Galaxy (from the album Fantasies)


"The Eyes, They See An Ominous Pillar": designed to soundtrack Thursday 17th - Sunday 20th December. The title references magnifying of small happenings affecting my mindstate, and their consequential broadening and minimizing. It also counterbalances the theme of panic attacks caused by overloading of visual and aural stimuli.

I visited the county I grew up in with my family this past weekend. It was to attend my cousin's wedding reception, and have a meal with old friends. Upon anticipating this I got very anxious and so decided to put those feelings to music. The first section supplants a mantra via track names - I felt like I was "Alone In The Rising Fog", and the progress of my mania expelled "Like A Slow River". "The Low Falls" and "Saltwater" are precursors to "I Shall Not Drown", the mixtape that will follow this documentation.

At first, I was afraid the sensations would overcome me, so the tension reflects this. When in the venue surrounded by new faces and relatives, I hallucinated mildly, whereby I thought pictures (see Max Richter's "The Picture Of Us. P" for the aural equivalent) on the wall were rolling their eyes (windows and varying sizes of gaps).

Different positioning of shutters on an adjacent image promoted disorientating factors to flourish, so I tried not to set my eyes on these. The lyrics of "Rough Hands" I used to consolidate the word count of what I screamed out. So instead of long sentences sweeping past me, I could just shout "rough hands" into my palms. It proved useful and no-one asked me if I was having problems.

The closing three tracks are reassuring in mood - a touchstone from environmental factors altering to more sedate territory - returning home. I desired to sculpt a contrasting sequence where demons are welcome to wither ("Everybody's got your back" from Zelienople's "Pajama Avenue"), and humanness is dissipated from the aether (see Metric's "I've seen all the demons that you've got / If you're not alright, now, come on baby, I'll take you where, take you where you want"). Ultimately the result is a file with a plentitude of moodswings stitched into it. Nonetheless it retains all the sensuality I like to apply to my work.

Voss Wrote:Thanks Twothumbs

I live for stuff like this it makes me happy. Big up!!! Slayer

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.24 - I Shall Not Drown - December 2009

01. Drowning The Virgin Silence - To Reach The Clouds (from the album Beneath The Sulfur Sky)
02. Rameses III - Across The Lake Is Where My Heart Shines (from the album I Could Not Love You More)
03. Eluvium - All The Sails (from the album When I Live By The Garden And The Sea)
04. Peter James - Adrift (from the album Holding On - Letting Go)
05. Stars Of The Lid - The Evil That Never Arrived (from the album And Their Refinement Of The Decline)
06. Herzog - Our Friends Save Us From Drowning (from the album First Summer And The Running Dream)
07. Fennesz - Rivers Of Sand (from the album Venice)
08. Arovane - Seaside (from the album Tides)
09. Seafar - New Town Dreams (from the album Hegira)
10. Black To Comm - Trapez (from the album Alphabet 1968.)
11. Bat For Lashes - Sleep Alone (from the album Two Suns)
12. Atomic Skunk - Liquid Dharma (free download -
13. Global Communication - 12-18 (from the album 76-14)
14. Bitcrush - To Drown (from the album Epilogue In Waves)


A body that lives a long time, accumulates debris. It cannot be avoided. However, there are nearly always routes to trap the residue, brush yourself up to scratch and make strides forward. "I Shall Not Drown" is an antecedent mixtape to usher in 2010 and cast aside pre-emptive fears and fleeting gestures. Partly inspired by Dave @ Low Light Mixes with his "A Solitary Sea", I chose tracks based on circumnavigating the drowning condition - whether it be your sorrows, tears, or loneliness. Unlike "Weathering" and "Gravitation To Resolution", though, I wasn't rooted by track names - this opens up a wider range of textures and themes. Bat For Lashes' "Sleep Alone" is the sole track with national radio play. I saw them live in October and was staggered by the quality of their second album, particularly because of Natasha Khan's haunting voice. "Sleep Alone" is used based on the relationship I lost, and whether I should start all over again - which I surely will, in 2010. Conjoining tenacity for creation with artists that receive a scant amount of attention, "I Shall Not Drown" oscillates through waves of counterweight with zero adhesion to your own limits. It's the second Muttley set built in Acoustica Audio Mixer, a program I can see myself using ever greater as the years roll on.

Nyce1 Wrote:yeah man!! I meant to say it a day and an age ago but nice work on thee chillout/ambient mixes.Lovesmilie Lovesmilie

Muttley - 15 MOF Pt.25 - Life Support - December 2009

01. Rameses III - All Shall Be Well (from the album I Could Not Love You More)
02. Global Communication - 4-14 (from the album 76-14)
03. SpeaK - Drowning Peacefully (from the album Once Nomadic)
04. Peter James - Flight Of Tears (from the album Holding On - Letting Go)
05. David Tagg - Magic Interval (from the split with Obfusc)
06. Drowning The Virgin Silence - Beneath The Sulfur Sky (from the album Beneath The Sulfur Sky)
07. Greg Haines - Arups Gate (from the album Slumber Tides)
08. Mogwai - Friend Of The Night (from the album Mr.Beast)
09. Piano Magic - Comets (from the album The Troubled Sleep Of Piano Magic)

"Life Support" is the third and final set of 2009 that's dedicated to the people of Bridewell Gardens. As an alternative to sending out Christmas cards, giving each of my friends there a specially made CD seemed the best option.

Helping me replenish my mental health since February 2009, I wished to go beyond the basics of drones to impression a more accessible backdrop to my work on the site, that they could also benefit from. I will be handing "Life Support" out tomorrow at the Christmas meal. Not contrary to the goodwill, it's a free event put on by the Bridewell staffers.

"Comets" by Piano Magic carries the underlying message of this excursion: "you should always tell them, you love them, in case you never see them again". Of course, love is a strong word, but the basis of admiration comes across more poignant this way. In this selection I also aspired to showcase the magnificence of Rameses III and Greg Haines, two artists which I will be working with towards spring 2010. More info soon.

Feedback relished as always. Smile

Rafi Clang Wrote:thanks man, there really is not enough appreciation for you on here, it has to be said

don't miss out on this guys mixes people Mad

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